ok Ok OK, I'm updating every day starting.......NOW.

So it's December and I no longer have any excuse not to update every day. I'M GONNA DO IT.
Plus, I've been provided with a "theme" for my December entries. This is good. I work well with structure. For December my theme is: "THANKS."

I had a little time to think about this. THANKS (caps not my edit) is a pretty broad theme. THANKS a lot! THANKS for nothing! THANKS for the memories! You get the idea.

So today, December 1, 2008, I will write a list of what I am thankful for, in general. You know, for starters.

I'M THANKFUL FOR:

• My job. Even though sometimes I want to lay down in my cubicle and kick and scream and throw my chair through the window*. Or cut myself with the paper cutter. You know, all the usual office related death wishes. This is par for the course with an office job, right? Right?! The truth is, I do like my job. I'm thankful for the stability it brings to my life. I'm thankful for the occasional piece I get to add to my portfolio because of it.
• C. Ya'll, sometimes I don't even recognize myself when I'm with him because I'm all gushy and twittery and ridiculous. OK, sometimes, along the lines of the ridiculous, I want to shove his face in the dirty laundry that he lets pile up and let him lay there and think about it. That's not very often though. Usually my response to the laundry (and everything else he does) is: "I love him!!! It's ok!" The bottom line is: I love him enough to do his laundry** and make bread when he asks and scratch his back 20,000,000,0005011 times a day.***
• For my new gmail "skin" which changes to match the weather in Saint Louis. It was pretty cool when it was rainy or sunshine-y but now that it's snowing its SUPER COOL because it displays little piles of snow on top of my Google chats, even when I expand them out of window!
• For Daniel's co-worker who came over and clipped Rex's wings for me last night, free of charge. Now he can't fly to the top of my kitchen cabinets and crap all over everything I own every time I let him out of his cage. You know what they say...if something is a little bitch to you every time you come near it, render it immobile and dependent on you for it's life. That'll teach him.
• For the foresight to start buying Christmas presents for people three months ago. Go me!
  
• For my mom, dad, and siblings. They're the bomb. Special props to my mom who made a whole brisket for thanksgiving even though we already had three turkeys. That's right, THREE whole turkeys. And a brisket.
  

Ok, I have other things that I'm thankful for but I'm supposed to fill up a whole month of thankfulness in my blog, so I better give it a rest. More later, perhaps.


*While sitting in it.
**He does do his own laundry, just not as frequently as we need it.
***get some lotion already!

fallfallfallfallfallfallyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayFALL!

Can it be fall now? Please please please please please PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE? Today the weather is some kind of otherworldly level of gorgeous, even though its the middle of August. It's clear blue and breezy enough to feel like fall is just around the corner, even though my mind says that this is clearly some sort of matrix-like illusion and it's really 178 degrees outside. Things SHOULD be bursting into flames and turning into piles of ash on the streets and instead i feel like i should be bundling up and doing something fall-y...liiiiike carving a pumpkin or hiking or something.

SPEAKING OF FALL:
If I could instantly be transported to anywhere on earth (*edited for accuracy), here is the list of where I would go.
1. The Vatican Vaults (unfortunately, there are no pictures of said vaults so I used my graphic design powers to imagine what it might look like)












2. Outer Space: (provided I was outfitted properly)










3. Rural Great Britain:












4. Big Sky Country:








5. Annnnnnnnnnd this lodge, in Branson MO:










You don't know how much I need to be sitting on those porches and drinking some hot cocoa frolicking in the leaves. You just don't know.

A list I will continue to edit as time goes on.

Things I like:
Soft lips lip balm
Sweet tea
Buffalo Chicken in pretty much any capacity
England
Blogs
Oliver and Dinah Lou
C.
craigslist.com
riesling, amaretto sours
google maps street view
grapes
grape flavored gum
raspberries
BLUE LOBSTERS:







Things I hate:
fleas
rotten food
my period
being poor
the bullshit thats currently posturing as sweet tea in the breakroom.
feeling sick
when the cats shit on the laundry room floor.
the unwarranted negative reaction im currently having to blue cheese, which I usually like.
worrying
airlines
coming home to a heinous messy house that im sure will not be cleaned.
Mizuna Lettuce:










Eh.
my new gum - wild blueberry twist, if you must know - which I also usually like.

I'm cool, I swear.

Not wanting to dispel any notion that I am the Office Dork and officially the Least Professional Person Ever, today someone came by my desk and there I was (middle of my lunch break, but still), in the middle of reading Breaking Dawn, the latest installment in the teen-vampire melodrama manifesto, with my legs akimbo and my shoes scattered all over my cubicle. And this is what she said:

"That's very ladylike, Kate."

"Well fuck you very much", I should have said.

________________________________

What's with the big "Tampon Taboo"? I myself have fallen prey to it. Not wanting to carry a visible tampon to the bathroom with me, I find myself stuffing it up my sleeve, in my waistband, in my bra...it's a little ridiculous if you ask me. It's not really any more weird to carry a tampon in full view to the bathroom than it is to drop it out of your bra or your sleeve, which is a definite risk if decide to go that route.

Then again, the people in my office might not be surprised if a tampon fell out of my sleeve, to them that probably seems like something I might do.

_______________________________

All this talk of me being uncool makes me a little uncomfortable, like those two people from Maryland who viewed my blog might think I'm uncool and not want to view my blog anymore.

10 REASONS I'M COOL:
1. I listen to Wilco.
2. I listen to SonVolt, which is pre-wilco wilco.*
3. I'm a graphic designer
4. I own many pencil skirts
5. I live in a city.
6. I use curse words and still manage to look educated. I think.
7. I own a hip, expensive, inbred dog.
8. I have commissioned artwork from a local artist
9. ....of my dog.
10. I have a snarky blog.

*The rest of this list may or may not be negated by the fact that after I typed number's one and two, I had a hard time coming up with any more reasons why I was cool, which may or may not mean that the only credit to my coolness is the fact that I listen to Wilco. You decide.