Today Callie and I were discussing the newest abomination in advertising: The Lying Cheating Glade Lady:
me: know what commercial i really f-ing hate
me: know what commercial i really f-ing hate
that damn glade commercial
its so offensive
divingdarlin8812: which one?
i dont have tv
me: oh right
its a newer one
ill describe it
It starts out with this perky housewife ushering her kids and husband out the door
because "she has a lot to do"
so off they go to slave away at work and school
and then she sprays glade air freshener all over the house and goes out to lunch and plays tennis and shit
and when the kids come home (and the husband too, obviously she cant even be bothered to pick up her kids from school)
theyre all like "wow mom, it smells great, you must have worked all day"
and shes like "oh yeah, ive been cleaning all day"
divingdarlin8812: ugh
me: but then the husband finds the glade bottle and they all laugh about it
divingdarlin8812: lazy bitch
me: i know right?
divingdarlin8812: that would bug me too
me: theres another one where shes pulling cookies out of a box and she lights a gingerbread glade candle
and her friends come over and compliment her on the cookies she just baked because they smell fresh out of the oven
and shes like "thanks!"
divingdarlin8812: geez whats with lazy women?
"glade...for the lazy housewives"
me: i just want to be like "jeez you f-ing ho, so glad your husband slaves away so you can go out to lunch and play tennis and NOT even manage to clean your house"
divingdarlin8812: seriously
i hate glade
me: me too
i totally dont even want to buy it
even if it DOES penetrate the carpet fibers more deeply than febreze
So basically, all these commercials make me want to do is burn down the glade plant, especially the advertising wing. I take issue with most commercials for products that are stereotypically the domain of women (for instance, when was the last time you saw a commercial for a vacuum cleaner that featured a man using the product and not merely slapping his wife's ass while she vacuumed under his feet? Ok, maybe that's a little too histrionic an assessment, but you get the idea) but at least these products show busy, industrious women who usually look happy to be providing a service for their family. At LEAST. Not this woman. Her husband works all day, presumably making enough money for her to enjoy luxuries like a country club membership and lunches out with the girls. Her only job is to clean the house, and it's supposed to take her all day. Instead she sprays it down with Glade and attempts to lie badly about it.
I feel as though there's some sort of grim subtext to this commercial. Why is she lying about not cleaning the house? Will something bad happen to her if her husband finds out about the Glade? Does he work for Febreze?
To add insult to injury Glade leaves us with the worst punch line ever invented at the end:
"Wow, you must have been cleaning all day!" For eight hours! Did you even eat? You look emaciated!
"Yes, well, aren't you glad" Aren't you glad you work 40 hours a week so I can clean the house for eight hours a day!
"Don't you mean....GLADE?" Oh, haha! I get it! Glade is just like Glad except it has one extra letter! How much are they paying their advertising execs to come up with this shit?
There's another one where she pretends to bake cookies and uses a candle to simulate the smell of freshly baked cookies to impress her friends. Then she ruthlessly eats a poor anthropomorphic gingerbread man who has curiously sprung to life to expose her.
Obviously this woman will stop at nothing for the approval of her peers and now I am a Febreze user for life.
First Glade Commercial:
So basically, all these commercials make me want to do is burn down the glade plant, especially the advertising wing. I take issue with most commercials for products that are stereotypically the domain of women (for instance, when was the last time you saw a commercial for a vacuum cleaner that featured a man using the product and not merely slapping his wife's ass while she vacuumed under his feet? Ok, maybe that's a little too histrionic an assessment, but you get the idea) but at least these products show busy, industrious women who usually look happy to be providing a service for their family. At LEAST. Not this woman. Her husband works all day, presumably making enough money for her to enjoy luxuries like a country club membership and lunches out with the girls. Her only job is to clean the house, and it's supposed to take her all day. Instead she sprays it down with Glade and attempts to lie badly about it.
I feel as though there's some sort of grim subtext to this commercial. Why is she lying about not cleaning the house? Will something bad happen to her if her husband finds out about the Glade? Does he work for Febreze?
To add insult to injury Glade leaves us with the worst punch line ever invented at the end:
"Wow, you must have been cleaning all day!" For eight hours! Did you even eat? You look emaciated!
"Yes, well, aren't you glad" Aren't you glad you work 40 hours a week so I can clean the house for eight hours a day!
"Don't you mean....GLADE?" Oh, haha! I get it! Glade is just like Glad except it has one extra letter! How much are they paying their advertising execs to come up with this shit?
There's another one where she pretends to bake cookies and uses a candle to simulate the smell of freshly baked cookies to impress her friends. Then she ruthlessly eats a poor anthropomorphic gingerbread man who has curiously sprung to life to expose her.
Obviously this woman will stop at nothing for the approval of her peers and now I am a Febreze user for life.
First Glade Commercial:
Second:
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