Two Songs Rewritten for the Tunes Sake

What kind of an idiot locks her ENTIRE Purse in the car? I mean, left it sitting right there, and confidently pushes down the little manual locks, and shuts the door without a doubt in her empty little head? What kind of a person does that? My poor pretty new purse and my poor credit card and my poor pink phone and WHAT AM I SUPPOSD TO DO WITHOUT MY CELL PHONE?! THEYRE ALL ALL ALONE OUT THERE IN THE BIG MEAN OLD COLLESIUM PARKING LOT!@#%@#$!@#4