PS

In my intoxicated state on Saturday, I broke one of my shoes, and instead of waiting until I was home to inspect them and see if they were salvageable, I threw them in the parking lot trash can and now they're gone forever. And then I ate two soft tacos from taco bell in the span of like 45 seconds. Between walking shoeless from the parking lot dumpster to the car from inhaling taco bell, who knows how many toxins I put in my body on Saturday?

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The last word for Monday is:

Wine-Cooler [wahyn-kooler] noun: See "Delicious."

All the gay in my house must be wearing off, because this drink is actually GAYER than anything the boys will be caught with. That's right, I'm drinking fruitier drinks than all the gay men in my house combined.