A case of the Mondays :(

This weekend C and I went rollerblading in the park with Oliver, as part of our recent pact to be more active. Turns out this is a worthwhile endeavor, because all three of us are apparently in the worst shape ever and turned out getting our asses 110% kicked.

It doesn't help that I can't stop, slow down or turn sharply on rollerblades. Forest Park is full of hills, many of them featuring hairpin turns that intersect with busy roads. Oh, sure, there are concrete barricades where each path intersects with a road for people like me, but when you're coming down a hill or around a corner at an uncontrolled speed of approximately 500 miles an hour, I'm pretty sure it doesn't matter if you hit a barricade or an oncoming car. Needless to say I ended up hiking down most of the hills with my blades on while C went screaming ahead of me. Oliver stuck with me because he's recently become Fat in Italian Greyhound terms. Which means he looks normal, but can't run 35mph for 12 hours straight anymore.

This prompted me to research "fat italian greyhounds" and this is what I came up with:

Excuse me, but if these animals were human women, I would probably trade bodies with them. They look good to me. Plus, if Oliver needs to take several long breaks and a dip in the pool mid-workout, thats great with me. "But C-eeeeeee, Oliver is tiiiiiired, he needs to rest!" The other upside to all this dog fatness is that it's obscenely cute/ridiculous looking when C has to carry Oliver up the big hills at the end of the workout. You haven't lived until you've seen a grown man roller blade up a hill with a little dog cradled like a baby in his arms, ears flapping in the wind.

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I've just learned that the only other woman in my office who is of childbearing age is trying to conceive. Anyone who knows me knows of my irrational hormones when it comes to babies. My brain is barely powerful enough to control them. But of course a baby is the absolute third worst thing that could happen to us right now (the first and second are death and being fired). Right? RIGHT?! The following account of my weekend is probably among the top five reasons why I shouldn't even think about babies.

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MY WEEKEND:
1. went rollerblading
2. got challenged to get drunk.
3. got drunk.
4. watched lord of the rings.