Thursday, May 1, 2008

lunchroom thief.

So I used to blog a lot. A LOT. I have blogs that go back to 1999 on my old journal, which I suppose I will slowly but surely transfer over to this one. Man, I was a weird kid in 1999. That was almost ten years ago...jeez.

Anyway, now I have a new blog, which is supposed to be a grownup blog, one that reflects the fact that I am employed in the graphic design industry by making subtle but striking changes to it's layout (which I shamelessly pulled off of a very obknoxious website.)

The bottom line for today is: I am too poor to look professional. I used to think I was a good dresser, but this office has quickly set the record straight. These women always look nice (read: expensive) and business-like, and then theres me...over in the corner cubicle, desperately trying to pull myself together. True story: Today I had to sew up the zipper of my cheap Target skirt because it broke in the car. I'm glad no one was around to see this.

____________________________

The other day a woman came into my office while I was reading one of those cheap tabloid magazines about UFOs and supernatural phenomena. Usually if that happens I just flip the magazine over so no one will see me A. not doing any work or B. reading about a house in suburban texas which is apparently haunted. I can't decide which would be worse for people to witness....anyway, on this occasion I didn't flip it, I stupidly set it out right in front of her face. This is the issue about psychic martians too, with a feature about the supernatural location of disneyworld and something called "elephant birds." All of this sounds suspiciously like a story I wrote when I was ten and nobody liked me. Anyway, now I've hidden the book behind my speakers, next to a romance novel I stole from the cafeteria. As a disclaimer, we have a little "library"section of our company cafeteria, which is full of romance novels, but I suspect theyre just for looks since I never see anyone (but me, apparently) reading them. And for good reason.

This just reminded me that I need to hide my little romance/supernatural psychic martian book orgy so they don't find them when they switch out my computer this week.

____________________________


Lastly, speaking of stealing from the cafeteria, I have to confess that I stole someone's Lean Cuisine the other day because I forgot my wallet. I'm not even sorry, because everyone here makes more money than I do anyway. I made sure I hid the box inside another box in the trash can. So that makes it ok.





0 comments: