Happy Halloween.

Tomorrow is Halloween and I just don't have the desire energy to find a costume. Also, if I remember correctly from my college days (side note: I find myself waxing nostalgic about my college days more and more, and usually I make a policy not to be nostalgic about anything unless it was at LEAST five years ago, but anyway...) Halloween if you are over the age of eight is mostly about conceiving a costume idea that is mundane and adding the word "Sexy" to it and going out to get drunk and possibly hook up. Since getting drunk is expensive and I don't need to put on a cat suit to hook up, what's the point? Maybe I just need to be shocked out of my boring-ness.

If you didn't ever indulge in this sort of ridiculousness in college (Hi, Mom and Dad!) let me tell you how many Sexy Nurses and Sexy English Teachers and Sexy Trash Ladies there are out and about on any given October 31st. The best, in my opinion, are the Sexy Animals (I myself have given into the Sexy Cat Phenomenon and once attempted the rare and difficult Sexy Peacock.*)

This year our roommate attempted to make plans with us to get dressed up and go out on the town. She's going as an (sexy) Stingray to her friend's (sexy) Crocodile Hunter. I assume these costumes will be "sexy", because she is not the kind of person who would dress herself in the actual image of a stingray, triangular fins and weird prehistoric feeding hole and all. Actually, come to think of it, I have no idea how one goes about dressing up as a stingray without employing a large amount of felt and/or construction paper and/or poster board. C and I entertained ideas of going out as Borat (because C does a mean Borat imitation) and a Gypsy (bonus! Gypsy is the cute (only to us, I presume) nickname that C has given me) and then someone suggested I go as Sarah Palin because I wear glasses and have bangs and can pull off a French twist and a blazer. Then I suggested in an Ultimate Moment of Laziness (UML) that I ressurect my Sexy Flight Attendant costume and C pull out his Sexy Airline Pilot...uniform. Hey, no one has to know he's not in costume haha! But then if he's going to do that, I might as well be a Sexy Graphic Designer for a Major Law Firm and if thats the case we should definitely stay home.

Although the above suggestions were met with minor bursts of enthusiasm, it was nothing earth shattering enough to rouse us from the couch to go plan said costumes. Thus, I assume we are Not Going Out for Halloween.

I'd like to say we would prefer to stay home and pass out candy to the eager young trick or treaters on my street, but there are no eager young anythings on our street. Sure there are young children, but I doubt their...ahem, caretakers...will be putting together a candy getting expedition for their progeny any time soon. So staying home will only result in eating all of the candy I buy myself and actively becoming LESS sexy. While I don't relish the idea of dressing up as Sexy Kate, I strongly reject the notion of becoming Fat and UnSexy Kate. So thats out.

I suspect what will end up happening is that we stay at home and turn off the porch light. Like that deterred me from coming to someone's house to get candy when I was little.

* But ended up as a Sexy Flight Attendant.