Branching out.

Last night I took C out to dinner at one of our favorite spots, The Burger Bar in the Lumiere Casino. I figured with him getting laid off and all (fuck you, airline industry) that I could take care of the dates for a while.

Anyway, the Burger Bar is a wondrous place, where you can order a burger with practically ANYTHING on it. It's man heaven, for real. Where else can you order a burger with jalapenos, salsa, onions, pickles, fois gras, kobe beef, shaved truffles, lobster and seven kinds of cheese? Actually, that sounds really disgusting, but you never know with men and burgers, you just never know. Naturally I always order the the gayest burger on the menu (veggie burger, ciabatta, pesto, prosciutto and mozzerella) and C, even though he can get ANYTHING on his burger, usually gets the following:

• Angus beef
• White bun
• Cheddar cheese
• bacon

I mean C'MON. You can get that shit at burger king. You could probably dig that cheeseburger out of a trashcan. Bums eat more exciting cheeseburgers than that. Prisoners probably have better food in their mess halls. Somalians probably have better burgers in Somalia (antelope? fuck yeah!)...ok you get the point, at the cost of my being progressively more and more NOT PC.

My point is, this time I said "C, maybe on the eve of your furlough, you should branch out in honor of your life taking a fucking u-turn." He agreed with me, which I didn't expect, because usually his response is something along the lines of "why should I branch out from perfection?" or something ridiculous like that. THIS is the ca-raaaayzee burger concoction that C put together:

• Angus beef
• White bun
• Pepper Jack Cheese
• Jalapeno Bacon

!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

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Speaking of the airline industry and how much it can go fuck itself, that shit is hindering my chances of getting THIS engagement ring:

How is C supposed to come up with 84,000 dollars to get the ring of my dreams when hes not flying any damn airplanes?!

JUST KIDDING. Plus, that thing is so grossly humongous, it's hideous. PLUS with 84,000 dollars you can buy a whole damn house. You could either have shelter, or that ring.

All this goes to show you how being desperately poor will put things in perspective for you, because all I can think about is how much car insurance I could buy for 84,000 dollars.