Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Sometimes choir makes me want to stab myself in the throat...

...but then I remember that I really do love to do this. Just not with 50 other pan-diocesan church ladies who want to be sopranos but can't so they're stuck in the alto section, croaking away. This does not inspire me to "lead the section," rather it inspires a sort of sleepy, lackadaisical approach best summed up as "lead yourselves, dammit."

Ok, this makes me the worst section leader ever, but I don't think I'm the only one who feels this way in dio choir, judging by the fact that I'm one of the only section leaders who actually shows up for dio choir. It's just that when its nine forty five and some church lady raises her hand to ask why measure 67 was conducted in six eight and not three four, i want to throw her into the pits of hell.

That may be a bit of an exaggeration, but you get the point.


Also, I'm distracted by my messy house, of which cleanliness is is no way affected by the three boys that currently live here. I'm hoping Downstairs Dan (DD) will help me lay the smack down. He likes clean things, right? The problem is that the house has to be immaculate for the coming of Daniel's Mother, Southern Woman Extraordinaire (DMSWE). This means she has about the equivalent of 12 times the amount of housewife points as any woman west of the mississippi. Or the appalachians. Or really, Charleston SC.

So please no one tell me that it doesn't matter if my baseboards are dusty or I might have an aneurysm. Me and all my pets will probably get cancer from coming in contact with so much Scrubbing Bubbles, but I don't care.

BITCH AWARD, MAY 2008: Some guy let me cut him in line at the grocery store because I was carrying an eye dropper and he assumed I "had a sick baby at home." I should have said "no, this is just to feed my god forsaken baby PARROT, so you can go ahead and buy food for yourself" I'll let you guess what I actually said. Still can't guess? Well, it was something along the lines of:

"Oh, thanks, thats really nice of you *insert worried mom face here*"