Two Songs Rewritten for the Tunes Sake

This is a good Easter. I got out of bed at five, got myself completely ready for church at six, and proceeded to sit through what is maaaybe the greatest church service <i>ever</i>. Then I came back at eight, cleaned up my apartment a little, took off my makeup, and did a face mask in my sweatpants. Later I'm putting everything back on and going to church again, because half of my family here (aka Gibbons)&nbsp; goes to Trinity and half (the rest)&nbsp; go to Shandon, and I want to see them both. And then I'm going to eat lunch, cook with Ricks, take a nap, and then go eat Easter dinner with Gibbons and Co., which I'm sure will be delicious. <br /><br />I didn't do a stitch of school work this weekend and I think maybe in spite of the fact that I'm now officially behind, it's ok. I feel healthy, and like everything is going to work out. <br /><br /><br /><br /><div class="ljcut" text="a boring account for future personal reference">I've been going to church lately. <br /><br />Don't have a heart attack yet, I don't think I've found religion. I don't consider myself attending church to share my common beliefs with the people who are attending with me. Even though I <i>feel </i>more spiritual when I'm there...I don't think I'm ready to preach the word, if you know what I mean. To that end, I don't think I'll <i>ever </i>be ready to do that, in part due to my stoicism...mostly due to the fact that I feel like I'll always struggle with this part of me. <br /><br />What I have found is that if I let go of my bitterness for an hour or two each week, it doesn't hurt me. I'd even go so far as to say it makes me feel better. A lot better. <br /><br />So there you have it. I love sitting in church on Sunday morning, and I never knew it. I love the windows, I love the music, I love the babies and the sermon. I like dressing up knowing that it's out of respect and not a need for attention. I love sitting for an hour and not feeling like I could be spending my time any more wisely. I never feel like I'm wasting time in church on Sunday morning. It's the only part of my life that seems to stand still at the moment. <br /><br />Perhaps thats why I like it. There won't be a Daniel, Sam, Gibbons or Ricks in St. Louis, but I'd wager that there will be a church service almost identical to Shandon or Trinity that will happen every Sunday. Thats comforting to me in a big way.

In other news Ive been up since...well, yesterday. Stupid adderall. I took another at about five this morning, so I reckon about five tonight I'm gonna have a meltdown.