Two Songs Rewritten for the Tunes Sake

Heres a parable:

I <i>use</i> my toothbrush. My relationship with my toothbrush revolves around when I A. have dirty teeth or B. feel like brushing my teeth because I have some extra time on my hands. I mean, hey, I've got dentistry needs, and the toothbrush is there to fulfill them. I don't ever consider schedualing when I use my toothbrush, I don't consider whether or not the toothbrush has something else to do, and when the time is right for me to spend time with said toothbrush, then there is little negotiation. Why would the toothbrushe's needs matter, right? It's just fulfilling a role. Incidently, many things in my life are more important to me than the actual toothbrush itself. While the act of brushing my teeth remains important, I only do it when I <i>need</i> to do it. And quite frankly, if something comes up, like say a cool electric toothbrush or the ability to magically have clean teeth with no effort or even a <i>different color</i> toothbrush, the tool itself would fall by the wayside. I don't worry about it, because I'm using the toothbrush. It's a use-be used relationship.

If my toothbrush had feelings, I'm positive that it would be hurt and might object.